I'm writing to you in hopes I can get advice about something. I've been married for a couple years to a guy I went to school with. It hasn't been perfect, but it's been pretty good for the most part. We don't have kids yet, so it's just us.
Thing is, I haven't been happy for a long time. I dont work, because he makes good money, and I dont really go anywhere because he has the car all day. I love him, but I dont know for sure that im still in love with him. I don't want to stay with him if i'm not happy or not in love with him, because it will hurt him more. But i dont want to give up on marriage if it can be fixed. Help please.
I think "in love" is a confusing feeling. That feeling you had when you first met him/her and they could do no wrong- they never farted or got upset or did things that they know pissed you off because everyone knows to be on their best behavior in the first part of arelationship. "Walls up- butt cheeks squeezed together- we are all nice and everything smells good" then after a while your walls are down and you trust the relationship enough to be human. All those wonderful things that you felt at first are fleeting and have no foundation. Having a husband with a good job is a block in a firm foundation. Talk to him about getting another car and have some "girlfiend dates" with friends or take him to work a few days a week and get out of the house. Do nice things for him with a smile on your face whether he deserves it or not. It sounds like you are more bored than unhappy. Best wishes to you.
ReplyDeleteIf you're a "younger" wife, or married straight out of school, it's possible to feel like you didn't get to experience life or be with anyone else. Like the previous comment, It sounds like you may be bored or feel alone, and noone likes the feeling of being alone.
ReplyDeleteHave you tried talking to your husband about it? Try looking into online groups or facebook pages that are local to you. It's a great way to meet new friends. If you're crafty, start a new hobby to stay busy. Pinterest.com has a wealth of great ideas! If you still feel unhappy, you may want to look into marriage or personal counseling. Good luck. :)
I have to agree with the previous two comments. Boredom will kill any relationship. Hes busy all day and you aren't. Try joining a club, do some volunteer work or how about get a job? You don't work because he makes good money. Great. How about you work because you want too. No one is against making more money. Get a 2nd car or just take him to work and pick him up and hang with your friends or family, go swimming, go to the library. You must have hobbies or want to take on a hobby. Good luck :D
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